Michi No Koto Wo Kangaeru
by The First Light
Summary: Keizekiel, or just Zeki, is the first person to break Brad Crawford’s boundaries and hit his only weak point: his own coldness. How will he deal with a girl such as Zeki? Please R&R!
1. Prologue

Angel Prodigy  
  
By: The First Light  
  
Prologue:  
  
Brad Crawford fell into the darkness, sensing nothing, hearing no noise. He couldn't even hear his own shouts as he fell, if, in fact, he was making any noise at all. But, even as he sunk into the never-ending darkness, Brad Crawford smiled. He figured it was really no time to smile, since he had a very slim chance of surviving, and the odds were stacked against him. Yet, even though he knew this, he smiled. It wasn't a maniacal smile of an evil dying scientist and it wasn't the deranged smile that went along with the ranting of a dying man. It was a gentle, happy smile.  
Crawford could feel his body gaining even more speed, as the wind grew stronger. A gentle light suddenly swallowed him and he stopped. He stopped falling, halted before death. A brilliant face sat above him, smiling along with him.  
This light...it feels so warm...so...familiar.  
The figure turned to leave, the long locks of golden hair waving behind them. Wait! Where are you going? We just met. Please...don't go! I've wanted to meet you for so long...and now...he thought, reaching a hand up. My wounds... He wiped his face with the tatters of his shirt. Tears? Why am I crying?   
  
Author's short note: Hey, there! Thank you to all who read my fanfictions! I'm really sorry I haven't been updating recently (for those of you who like "Buyin a Oneway Ticket Outta Your Mind" and "Fear". I'm working on the next chapter for BOTOYM and a something like "Fear"). Please read and review this one. I know it's just the prologue but I'm typing up chapter one right now. ;; Hope you like this one. -The First Light- 


	2. Presumed Guilty

_**Michi No Koto Wo Kangaeru**_

_**By: The First Light**_

**_Note: Anyway, this is my new story (yes, it still has to do with the golden haired angel and stuff). BTW the golden haired person is not Yoji. This is also a NON YAOI fiction. Thank and please R&R!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any Weiss items or anything of the sort (since I'd be living Brad's life if I did), but I do own anything unfamiliar to the show/series/OVA/whatever._**

_**Summary: Keizekiel, or just Zeki, is the first person to break Brad Crawford's boundaries and hit his only weak point: his own coldness. How will he deal with a girl such as Zeki? **_

_**Characters you'll meet:**_

_**Brad Crawford: Crawford is the main character, seemingly cold, straightforward and works for his own benefits.**_

_**Keizekiel: A young girl who shines a light into Crawford's world. She has a strong but quiet personality and holds an angelic aura.**_

_**Schuldich: And old partner of Crawford**_

**_Nagi: Youngest of Schwartz and another old partner_**.

Chapter One: Presumed Guilty

I've lied to you

The same way I always do.

This is the last time

I'll fake a smile for the sake of being with you...

Brad Crawford was not the type to ever confess or reveal any type of emotion. He was the classical stick-up-your-ass person, a person of never-melting ice. He was a fort that never fell and a person who lived his life on the run and in the shadows. He hated it when a young girl stood him up, out witting him and completely telling him off for it.

"Brad Crawford, you are a selfish and arrogant prat who built walls around him to keep himself from being hurt!" Keizekiel shouted, poking him hard in the chest with her slender finger. "You're just a little boy, wrapped up in his own mind to keep from seeing reality."

Her words still rang in his ears, gnawing at his brain. Being told off like that really stumped him, especially since the girl was no older than fourteen! She was pretty, he'd give her that, but still...it bothered him. Crawford had heard from neighbors not to mind her, since she had issues. She normally wasn't quite so loud, and quite frankly, kept to herself, never speaking. He continued to walk without knowing where he was going, his face saddening. _I feel as if...as if she's calling me. Like I can...I can sense her. _He stopped suddenly when he saw the girl sitting on the stairs of a porch.

"Zeki..."

She turned her head, her eyes slightly watery. Crawford could tell she'd been crying. "Oh...Brad..."

"Yes. I was thinking about what you said. You know, the other day," Crawford muttered, leaning on his forearms and back against the railing. "I guess it's true. I never wanted to admit it...but deep down, I knew I was just...scarred."

Zeki leaned against him, his chest feeling warm. She bit his shirt, the tears welling up again. He glanced down at her. Her hair was the color of Lapis Lazuli, her eyes were sapphires, and her skin was a creamy color and feeling. He sat down, his back against the next step up and the young girl lying in his arms. _Oh God...you probably guessed by now. I only want one person in my arms. _

Zeki stood up suddenly, and smiled, giggling. "Oh dear, look at me. Letting a prat like you touch me. What was I thinking?"

She straightened out her skirt and walked off, allowing Crawford to stare after her. _God...if you do exist. Grant me a wish...protect that unspoiled angel from my...animalistic intentions. _He stood also after a moment and trudged to his apartment, deep in thought. He prepared his mind shield, so Schuldich couldn't read his mind, something thing he absolutely hated. When he opened the door, the red headed German greeted him with a friendly hello and smile. Crawford stared blankly at him for a moment, not really noticing anything, then walked into his own room, snapping the door shut; a sign to Schuldich that he didn't want to talk to anyone.

Crawford sat at his desk, chin in hand, and browsing through his report. He really wasn't reading the thing, just scrolling down every now and then. He was tired, not to mention hungry since he hadn't eaten anything since he got home. He heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," he said sharply, straightening up. "Oh, Nagi, it's you. What's the matter?"

Nagi hesitated for a moment, his eyes lowering to the ground before allowing the door to creak open slowly. He stood in front of Crawford's desk, feeling like he was in the principle's office at school as the older man gestured for him to sit. He dragged a chair toward him using his telekinesis, something that surprised Crawford (of course it would surprise anyone knowing Nagi, since anyone who did knew he hated his "abilities"). Surprises, another item Crawford despised dearly, especially being a pre-cog.

"C-crawford...I'm worried about you. You seem..." Nagi paused, trying to think of a good term to say. "Upset. I mean...well..."

"Let's get this straight, Nagi. I can handle any situation. If not with Schwartz, then on my own. All right?" he smiled.

That was a lie. The biggest one he'd ever say. He couldn't handle himself, or any other situation. Especially the predicament he was currently in. He hated himself for it.

"But Crawford...you...I've always believed you never wanted love...or you were trying to avoid it. You even push us away...We're all worried about you, because...we're like family," Nagi said, his vision blurring from tears.

Crawford felt bad now, knowing everything Nagi said was true. They were like family, whether he wanted to accept it or not. He wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders comfortingly, like an older brother. He heaved a great sigh, staring at the picture sitting on his shelf.

"I don't deserve your love...sometimes you want to let people know how you feel but you can't. Because you know that the moment it comes out of your mouth, it'll be all over," he muttered standing up straight, turning away from the boy that adored him so much.

Crawford hated the looks of admiration Nagi gave him. He was so innocent that God couldn't accuse him of any other crime, and he wanted to keep Nagi's hands clean of blood. He didn't want this blossoming young man's hands infused with the smell of blood like his own.

_A young man walked through a gate, smiling as some kids ran up to him. It took Crawford a minute to realize the man was him, and this was when he was working at an orphanage._

"_It's Brad-onii-chan!" a girl shouted, smiling. "Did your work go well?"_

_He smiled and nodded. "Of course. It seems like you kids are doing well. Are you all being nice to the old lady? You guys aren't harassing her are ya?"_

"_Brad-nii! Hold me! Hold me!" a couple of kids shouted. _

"_Okay, okay. Give me a minute."_

_He stood for a moment, gazing at the kids. They stared back at him with confused looks. "What's wrong, Brad-nii? You got gas or something?"_

_"Can't...I can't. I'm sorry guys," he muttered, wiping a tear away and smiling sadly at them. "Sorry...everyone. But it would seem that I'm no long fit to hold you guys."_

He stared at his palms, the ones covered and infused with blood. They were dirty. If he were to touch these innocent children, he would only contaminate them with his own sins...

"Your hands are dirty."

He turned to find a young girl standing beside him. Her sapphire eyes gazed with a steely sense to them, her hair a silvery color in the light. "You'll just hurt them."

"You're right. I will if I do," he answered, tears falling down his cheek.

Crawford awoke with a start from his dream, touching his face. _Warm water?_ He felt it flowing down his cheeks from his eyes. This substance was alien to him. He stood up groggily and walked over to open his window. The midnight breeze cooled his bare chest, along with all the scars on his body. **I remember the slick feel of blood. The first time was a blow. The next minute, I'm hit in the face by a wall, thick and unshakable and for some reason, my feet aren't touching the ground. It took me a while to realize it was the floor. I couldn't move my body on my own accord. There was no more strength in my arms or legs, so I wiggled on the floor like a caterpillar, something heavy with death on top of me. Then...** Crawford stared up at the sky. **Like a wave of pain...a fever hit me. Since I was still a kid, I thought for sure that I would die right then. I shuddered and turned cold in one breath. Even though I could see it, I had given up all hope on my future, and just dirtied my hands with blood and violence. But I didn't want to die...**

He snapped out of thought when the sun began to rise up, shining a little in his eyes. He walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him as he readied his bath. He sat in the warm water, staring at the ceiling. **Bad memories seem to always visit me in the bath. Like Rosenkruez...Weiss...and Zeki. I don't know what to think about her anymore, or what to say to her. I can barely speak. Why is that? **Crawford folded his arms on the edge and rested his head in them, sighing. He could already tell it was going to be a bad day, even without using his precognition. He sneezed once.

"Dammit..."

Crawford wandered the streets a little, not really knowing where he was going. He was currently off work, since it was a part time job for some pocket money, therefore he had plenty of time to burn. He decided to go to the school office building.

"Where're you going, Crawford?" Schuldich asked, raising an eyebrow as the raven head slipped his hooded sweatshirt on.

"Registry place in the school."

"Huh? Why? Do you need to pick up paperwork?"

"Yeah. My family registry and another persons, along with some records. Later," he muttered, walking out the door.

Crawford half wondered if he should've told Nagi to come along with him. He hadn't considering Nagi had still been asleep and that he really didn't need to come. He passed by the office and picked up what he was looking for, passing by the apartment again to drop it off on his desk, then leaving once more without a word to anyone. He wandered around the park for a while, lost in thought until he suddenly heard a noise. The raven head paused, locating the sound. **Oh, it's Zeki. **He whipped himself behind a tree, a little nervous now. **Damn me! Why did I have to see her now? **He glanced around the corner again. **Wh-why is she crying? I'll pretend I didn't see and just leave. Ignore it. What's a few tears? I mean...I'm a killer, tears shouldn't matter to me. Sure...it's just a few tears. No reason for us to meet...**

"What's wrong, Zeki?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. **What's wrong with me?**

"You know how when you saved me...well...one of my friends got hurt. So when I went to visit her, she was mad at me, blaming me for her blindness. She needs somebody to be mad at. And the way it happened...I'll just keep visiting her until she sees me."

Crawford remembered that accident in the church. The glass had shattered all around, and he had dove to shield Zeki. At the time, her friend had been the one person he had been very open with: Tomoe Sakura. The shower of glass and something else had caused her blindness. Everything was a blur to him, especially in the middle of all of it. He had awakened something inside him, something that had caused more glass to shower down...

"But you know, it _was _just an accident. It's not your fault really. All I could think about at the time was protecting you..." he covered his mouth. **Damn! **"No! That's not what I meant! I mean...ack..."

Zeki laughed a little, smiling at him. "That is so typical of you, Crawford. You'll say something tactless and make a person cry. That's why everyone who's close to you is so nervous around you. Aside from your personality anyway."

She was always doing that to him. Telling him something and then just walking away without so much as a "good bye" or a "later". But he did care, since...he was just happy that he had managed to make her happy. Little did he know that pair of eyes were watching him. The owner of the eyes rubbed his head and turned to look at his partner.

"You sure that's him?" he asked doubtfully. "He's an idiot. Just an idiot. Lights are on, but no one's home."

"I'm certain. I can feel the pulse from his body. And that girl...she reminds me of that one angel. Keizekiel, was her name?" a soft voice replied. "If she is indeed then...we can use her to lure him out."

**Translation:**

**Onii-chan: means "big brother" in Japanese.**

**Nii: same as "onii-chan"**

**I hope you liked the first chapter, since it took me a while. It's longer than my normal chapters, and I have feeling the next will be longer. Yes, I do realize that it would take an extraordinary girl to make Brad-kun nervous, therefore I have made Keizekiel (Zeki) and extraordinary girl (I mean, she hit Brad-kun hard with her words, plus she is an angel). **


	3. Run Away

_**Michi No Koto Wo Kangaeru**_

_**By: The First Light**_

_**Note: More updating! You might just get to see the two mysteries.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any Weiss items or anything of the sort (since I'd be living Brad's life if I did), but I do own anything unfamiliar to the show/series/OVA/whatever.**_

_**Summary: Keizekiel, or just Zeki, is the first person to break Brad Crawford's boundaries and hit his only weak point: his own coldness. How will he deal with a girl such as Zeki? **_

_**Characters you'll meet:**_

**_Tsukasa Hirotikami/Heruziel: a young archangel whose dream is to find the legendary angel known as Retsukel. He's a subordinate of Gavin now._**

_**Gavin: a "big brother" sort of person to Tsukasa, he is an immortal spirit that is neither light nor dark, but something in between. **_

Chapter 2: Run Away

Run away with me, for you are mine and mine alone.

Crawford lay on his couch in his office, one arm draped over his face. When he took off his arm, everything seemed blurry and the light blinded him, so he rolled over onto his stomach to block it out and clear his vision. He sighed and stared out at the dark sky. He hated cities, partially because he grew up in L.A., and also because they blocked out the beauty of the stars. He let out another sigh (wow, two sighs in the span of ten minutes), and laid his head in his hands. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, an old habit that never seemed to fade.

**"Hi."**

"Hello," he answered the voice stiffly as a ball of light appeared.

The ball of light slowly took the form of a young boy, about fourteen or fifteen years old. **"Do you know who I am?"**

"Yes. You are Brad Crawford, who died eleven years ago," Crawford answered, staring at the boy as he pushed his glasses up his nose again.

The boy mimicked, smiling.** "That's right. I, Brad Crawford, died eleven years ago at the age of fourteen. I remember that. The slick feels of blood. I had lost all hope for my future, but I didn't want to die."**

"As do I. I don't know how you can stand to think about it though. I knew Mom and Jamie had left their bodies. So I came out to talk, just a dark side of you," he answered, sitting up and pulling his legs to his chest.

**"Yeah...I would've died too, if Jamie hadn't protected me. He foresaw it. You appeared asking me what I would do that was worth living for.** **I told you I wanted to read and study..."**

_"Let me use you. I would like to make your dreams come true, if you'd let me."_

_"But...Mom and Jamie are dead...and soon I'll die too. Okay then, promise me this. Studies, read, do whatever. But on top of all of that, make sure everyone you come into contact with hates you! I'll always love everyone I meet very much, but I don't want them to grieve when I die. Make absolutely sure everyone hates you."_

"I'd never felt anything before that, so I couldn't understand how you showed your love to anyone like that. But I became a part of you: your kindness, emotions, your love- it all became a part of me," Crawford muttered remembering those words.

**"Do you love Keizekiel? She's seems nice...her aura is warm...and pretty too." **

"I do."

**"And Schwartz?" **Brad smiled.

"Hmm...yes. I do."

**"Because their your partners in Eszet?"** Brad asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No...I love them because...they're normal and awkward. But they live life with everything they've got, risking their lives for the sake of my orders, you see?" he asked, thinking.

**"Like little brothers?"**

"Yeah, I guess. I...love this stupid world of yours. Then...and even now...it's been so much fun. I've lived and learned, I've...loved. All because of you," Crawford said, sighing.

**"You know what? I think you've become human, Crawford. So you live the life the way you want to. I'm feeling tired, so I'll stay asleep inside of you for a little while longer," **Brad smiled, slowly disappearing.

"Yeah...okay. Good night, Brad," he answered, smiling at the disappearing boy.

Crawford awoke at four-thirty in the morning, pulling on some baggy jeans and a T-shirt along with his sneakers. He shove some clothes into a backpack he had, along with five thousand-yen and a water bottle. He quietly shut his door, then jumped a little when he heard a noise and turned to find Schuldich staring at him.

"Where're you going?" he asked blankly.

"Away for a while. Leave me alone Schuldich. I don't want to be here anymore."

"So you're leaving? Just like that? Abandoning us?" the red head said quietly, his sky blue eyes staring at him.

"Look, I just hate living this way. _Your _Crawford is guilty. So if I leave, you won't have to take responsibility for anything anymore. Man, you're thick," he answered coldly, giving Schuldich a smirk to go along with it. "He was just a side of me, a spirit if you will, that took control of me when I was fourteen. You and I...we're complete strangers, Mr. Schuldich. I've lied to you for so long. So go ahead! Hate me! Hate me for everything I've ever put you through! Then leave go wherever you want! Just go away! And don't ever show your mug around me again, you hear?! I don't ever want to see your face again! I'm sick of playing your leader!"

With that, Crawford turned and walked out the door, his head lowered as he began to jog away. **Forgive me, Schwartz. This is...the only way I know of now. Forget about me. Start a new life without me in it. You don't need me. With Brad...we will pray for your happiness. Good bye...you who were my friends. **Crawford turned the corner and bumped into Zeki.

"So I was right? You are a self-centered prat."

"You were. You were completely right. I'm just a coward, running away from everything. But...even so..."

Crawford suddenly pulled her into his arms, his vision blurring for some reason now. **These tears...what is this warmth flowing down my cheek? I don't understand...this pain in my chest...and the sorrow I feel...I cannot understand! **Zeki hugged him back comfortingly, feeling his warmth engulfing her.

"Hold still! This is the last one!" Zeki shouted angrily.

"Ow! That hurts!" Crawford answered with just as angry a voice as the girl finished pinning in the last earring. "Why do I need these anyway?"

"It'll bring you good luck if you're leaving. And one last thing..."

She held out a necklace with a cross on it. He motioned for her to put it on so she wrapped her arms around his neck to do so. As she pulled away, he second the motion and held her there, inhaling her smell.

"Thank you...Zeki," he muttered, giving a small tug on the cross on the left earring. His other ear however, held three small hoops in them.

Zeki sat at his side and gazed at him, his raven black hair, and his inviting lips. She shook her head as he stood up and thanked her, walking out the door. This was it, he was about to leave...for good. He was about to leave the life of assassins, of killers, and of blood. He wanted only a peaceful life, alone and untainted by blood. But even as he glanced down at his hands, he realized the truth. **These hands of mine are so sullied that...they can no longer be cleansed. **

**Translations:**

**This is the second chapter! Yay! (Drum roll). I'm not really that happy, but still, I'm happy that I managed to update. It's amazing that I've managed to get this far without some flames or something. I've been on a tight schedule. Oh well. And if anyone's interested, portraying Crawford like this wasn't very easy...but I like troubled men like him. As for Brad...I thought it was a nice idea (yes it is copyrighted to Kaori Yuki, so I give them credit for the idea.) since I always thought of it that way. **


End file.
